The Ever Present Word, "No!"

I've been studying in a few of my classes about discipline for young children, and one of the most frequent discussions that comes up is concerning the word "no". There are a few experts (usually pretty old school) who feel that a very firm "NO!" is all that should be used when a child is young, and that reasoning is fruitless until they are at least 4 or 5. There are others who feel that saying the word is akin to child abuse and crushes your child's spirit and thus should never be used. I'm an in between person myself, but here is what it comes down to for me personally. I feel like for every time a child is told no, they should be given at least twice as many yes's. Now I don't mean this literally, and I certainly don't go around counting, but I have discovered with Grace that there are SO many times when I tell her no almost automatically, without thinking about whether the answer could have been yes! So I have been doing an experiment for the last week or so and trying to say yes whenever possible.  

      And so far have been extremely thrilled with the results. I've realized that much of the time she just has a huge desire to be a part of everything, (I'm not sure I had any idea before how MUCH she wants to be a part of EVERYTHING) and our days are so much more fulfilling, and have so few meltdowns when I incorporate this principle. Here are a few examples from our life. Grace has been obsessed with the refrigerator and pantry since she could crawl, and I've spent considerable times keeping her out of there.

 

Dinner constantly has this routine of me hurrying as fast as I can to get supplies out of the fridge for dinner, and Grace going as fast as she can to lodge herself in before I can shut the door. If I win, she has a melt down on the floor, if she wins...well then I worry and worry and she shouldn't be in there, right?! Wrong. Grace in the fridge is actually really fun when I take the time to monitor her and show her things. I let her taste a lemon yesterday when she asked to, and let her take down bottles and smell things etc. and soon she learned to hand me things I ask for, and she's learning the names of foods etc. I let her taste a couple things that were spicy and she frantically signed "hot" until I gave her some milk and then she giggled and giggled and wanted more! lol Another example is letting her get into the pantry. She takes down all my cans and containers of baby food and stacks them etc. She also loves to carry onions around the house peeling them, but since there is no carpet upstairs, I let her peel my onions now and after it's peeled and she's tasted it and informed me it's "bleh!" she hands it over and I make dinner. I've even discovered that doing dishes doesn't have to entail me scrubbing as fast as I can while my child clings to my legs whining. she sits on the soapy side with a plastic cup, and I do the dishes on the other side. She does laundry with me, she loves sweeping the floor, and she loves that her job is to check the mail every day after her nap .

 
She sits in her highchair on the high end of the piano while I practice and thinks it's great fun! When I grind wheat for flour I've even let play in the bucket with clean hands and feel the grain, and scoop it with little cups. Basically, I LOVE saying yes to my daughter and I don't feel like it spoils her, I feel like it helps her feel important, it helps her learn and grow and it makes my job as her Mom so much more fulfilling and fun! 

What are some things that you like to say "Yes" about? I would love to hear of some activities you enjoy doing with your kids in day to day life!